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I had deleted all pics, texts, his number from my phone and blocked him on all social media platforms but no, the memories were not going to escape just like that. I was wounded and the thought of him getting away with everything exacerbated the pain. Somebody had to die. He had to die.
I looked in the mirror and could no longer recognise myself. This was no longer the sweet little angel my mama had raised. A part of me wanted to convince me that I wasn’t a murderer, that I didn’t have it within me but the rage vanquished all that. Kevin had broken my heart and now I was determined to do the same to every inch of his being. The beast within me had been unleashed. I was going to kill him.
People will tell you all about how love is blind and still miss the bigger picture; that is; how love makes you blind. Kevin and I had been dating for seven good years. He always went on about how seven was the charm and how he would marry me then. I was in too deep, I had lost sight of the bigger picture. For seven good years I had believed his lies and idolised him as the ideal husband. At this point in time reality had slapped me right in the face and the universe was yelling, “CHECK MATE “. I had just learnt in the most unpleasant way how my life was in shambles.
My friends, including Kevin had joined me for a hang session just like every other Friday night. On that particular night I had insisted that I would clean up everything afterwards so as soon as they had left I got busy. That is when I realised that my best friend had forgotten her phone on the couch. Curiosity of course got the best of me so I decided to unlock it. There was no password required, odd but still it did not appear to me that this could have been a trap. I didn’t need a minute to find out that Kevin was dating my best friend behind my back. It could have been another girl but no, it had to be my best friend. As if that wasn't enough, they had nicknamed me their naive sidechick. Me? A sidechick? Apparently they had it all figured out. They were planning a five star wedding, just like the one I had fervently prayed for for the past seven years. That had been the plan, to waste my time, break my heart and live happily ever after. At this point it felt like my whole world was crumbling. I was not going to go down without a fight, no. Kevin had to pay. There was only one option left. I HAD TO KILL HIM.
I was well aware that Kevin was going to watch football at a bar close to his place that night. Without much thought I grabbed a knife from my kitchen and drove my way to the bar. That night I recreated ‘Fast and Furious’. Suddenly all traffic lights, lines and signs became invisible. The closer I got to the bar, the greater my anger grew, the more my speed increased. I was drowning in my own rage and driving towards my own grave at 70mph. I wasn't going to stop for anything and I sure as hell was not going to take my foot off the gas. Somebody had to die that night.
The hiss of the tyres under the smooth tarmac was lost under the pounding bass of my enraged music. A huge truck suddenly appeared from nowhere and bumped into my Jeep sending it right off the road. My body jerked to the dashboard, my forehead colliding with the window.The car rolled over severl times before landing into a tree. I became fleetingly aware of the bloody taste in my mouth; the pain I won't even mention. I was starring in my very own horror movie.
“Beep. Beep.Beep. Beep.” That is all they could hear in the hospital as I battled for my life. I had said it all night: SOMEONE HAD TO DIE. It turned out I had foretold the future. I had missed a little detail. Kevin was not supposed to die, I was the one in trouble. My own anger was going to ruin me. My life was on the edge and I was to blame. At this point I remembered someone I had ignored my entire life and all I could cling to were prayers. I wasn’t ready to die.